Friday, July 21, 2017

Fit Friday no.1 (2017)

Lets talk fitness..

I have struggled with not being the skinny girl for as long as I can remember. I can look back and remember times that I thought I looked good, but there isn't a time in my life that I would really call myself skinny. I hate that word. Skinny. God just didn't make me to be a tiny little thing, and you know what, I'm fine with that. Let me be clear though.. I am fine with that now. At twenty eight years old, I have made my peace with the fact that I'll never be the skinny one. I don't even want to be the skinny one anymore, but that took twenty eight years. Now more than ever, I want to be fit. I want to have muscles, and I want them to be seen. I am not physically fit yet, but I will be documenting my journey to get there on my weekly Fit Friday posts. This Friday, I want to talk about how to mentally prepare to be physically fit, and something that has been holding me back for years. 

How often do you put yourself down? Saying things like, "I look so fat in this" avoiding the pool, fun events with friends, even being in pictures? This has been me for years. Until recently, I didn't realize how much I actually was avoiding, and I really didn't realize how often I was putting myself down. I've basically been fat shaming myself. It took my husband constantly pointing out things I would say for me to really recognize and change my habits. He really hates the way I talk about my body, and he's been very vocal about wanting me to change. (He's seriously the best!) Once I started listening to him, and being conscious about my words, I noticed that I was making these little fat shaming comments to myself all the time. It had to stop. For the last month or so, I have gotten so much better. Not only do I not make these comments near as much as before, but I notice others making them and it bothers me. I now do my best to discourage my friends and family from this toxic talk. 

I can't even begin to explain how much has changed in the last month for me. Without losing a pound, I have gained so much confidence in myself. I have let go of fears and I've quit caring so much about what others think. I've stopped shaming myself and the way I view myself has completely changed. I am happy in my own skin, and it feels great. Surprisingly to me, this has given me so much motivation to eat clean and get active. Instead of thinking to myself, "I look like crap, I need to go to the gym," I think, "I feel great, and the gym will make me feel better." Instead of the gym, or healthy foods, being a punishment for being fat they have become a reward. For years I have been feeling like I had no motivation, and I finally feel like I have some. Now, this doesn't mean it's magically become super easy and I skip off to the gym every day for my workout. I still have days I don't want to go, days I feel like just eating ice cream. I don't think that will go away, even with physical results. I love me some ice cream, y'all! The whole point is that its gotten easier, and I'm all for anything that makes the journey a little easier. I hope you'll pay attention to your words, and change your habits. Let me know what keeps you motivated!

Happy Fit Friday friends! Be well!

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